The Last Love

in August of that at noon, the rain outside the window in the eaves dripping rhythmically, crisp and depression, as Wen tell my story to hear.

Wen I live in a small town with before, but missed the acquaintance; Daoshi now have millions of people in this Spring City, we met, because the aircraft. Wen and my good friend the occasion of the Expo flight to Kunming, Needing You, I guess with unusual eyes, they were lovers. Wen looked love to speak, and very serious. But through her glasses, I noticed her eyes elusive hint of hidden depression. Because it is a friend of a friend, so not long before we done.

noon that day, something out of the aircraft and I wen in North Point a small hotel room in Xian Kan. Wen said that we go to tea. I think the flight is not, she and I go out is not good, decline significantly; but could not stand the invitation of her stubborn, had to go.

sparse underground venues tend drizzle with a little cold, but not cold. We went into a small hotel not far from the restaurant opposite. Tea in a screen across the room, we sat down. Very quiet here, looked through the blue glass windows outwards, urban haze. I opened the window, the voice of the rain canopy is very rhythmically sound Down in the streets, as it was in the whisper.

we drank tea and nibbling with melon seeds, chatting gossip. Music gently rang the \Mind as being wet with rain, we did not speak a moment. Wen looked out the window, motionless, like a lovelorn puppet.

I said, you are not worried about something?

Wen turned round and looked at the cup in front of his eyes heavy, like falling into a past era. She said that when the flight is not all what you say?

I smiled and said, do not necessarily like you do.

she said, we do not have the story.

Wen eyes more deep depression, she said, you are willing to listen to a story? My story.

I know, Wen is to tell me something, though, and now I do not know why she want with me.

I said, you speak, I listen.

Thus, in the depression of the city, in the depression of the rain and melancholy music, I listen to a sad girl tells a sad story.
my hometown in Sichuan, Yunnan, father to the sixties, now that we live in a small town in teaching, will never settle down. My mother used to work in Xinjiang, I do not know why they combine. I was born in Xinjiang, my childhood was spent in Xinjiang, so I'm a Yunnan, Xinjiang and Sichuan again. Childhood I had no impression, and only from the first form to remember everything clearly now.

just in junior high school, my oldest maternal aunt's son Akai home to our school the next higher from Sichuan, lived in our house. My only sister has to go north-east university, at home no one to play with me, very lonely. Therefore, a family cousin Tim, and I was very pleased. Cousin, a tall, chiseled face, very handsome, a bit like a movie of that Takakura. He was especially good to me, though he is oldest maternal aunt's only son, at home, incredibly spoiled in our home, it is obedience to me. Naughty, I want him to feed me rice, in my hair bow bar, give me illustration, to help me beat sitting behind me pulling my hair, boys, he would by me. At that time I was little, my parents so we better look at my heart very happy, always let us go out to play on Sundays.

you know, our little town is small, surrounded by high mountains, it's no fun, but we still have fun. Sunny day, we went top of the hill flying a kite, butterfly nets, hide and seek. Cousin often Abstract flowers to tied into a beautiful wreath to wear on my head, take my turn ah, transfer, ah, that I like a little bride. I'm so excited, ah, hanging on his neck, his back to me \My cousin is really her own, ran like flying, I fell on his back, comfortably close your eyes, feels like a comfortable lying on the blue and white in the kite.

cousin almost everything in my, that is, never learning that I did little tricks temper. I once wrote to him to give me homework, he refused, saying that he wrote for me I still do not understand. I say you do not write me I'm not going to ignore you, he said that if I then told him to ignore my homework on him from me, spoke sit far away from me, made me ignore look. I would not dare tell him to write to me.
these sentimental things I said, you are interested in listening? Wen said.

I'm listening, I said.

I say, just want you to know that I and cousin how good. Wen said that since you do not feel bored, I'll then speak.
reading of the temple, I feel I have grown up, sometimes standing in front of the mirror to see ourselves and self-righteousness. Hou then most of our class students are poor, those girls from the village down, though beautiful, but brown hair, wearing it all year round a few old clothes, and I, with your favorite skirts and high heels shoes. Then there is a movie called \16-year-old girl, some things without being taught, do not read books, also understand. Some men and women students in the class quietly wrote a letter, passing notes, and sometimes go to the movies. Several boys had also quietly put this paper in my writing case, should I tell him good. I scoffed, not Zhengyan Kan them one. How they can match it to my cousin? My cousin thought my heart as sweet as honey eaten. If he wrote a note to me like that, how happy I will.

junior high school or three years later, in the past three years, I had almost no trouble, has been very happy. All this, because there cousin. Is a cousin to my mind out of the beautiful flowers blooming. Family are not too concerned, I was thinking, as long as I get good grades, they are satisfied. Dad is teaching high school history, deep cultural training, his desk, put the best of \He usually very quiet, nothing like hiding in his study in writing articles. Mother to work in county government, as very regular life, like a pendulum, after work, cooking, knitting a sweater. Our school, eat my mother's food, begin to review homework. I am one of the best in class performance, but my father wanted me to test the regional focus of high school, the pressure on the big, regional focus of high school enrollment in our county only a dozen people a year, the county so many candidates, than thousand armed forces Kazuma harder to do in single, day and night I had to learn ah, learning a lot of free time, she claimed it was books, and now want to come really sorry.

in the exam of a Sunday school students to look at emotional regulation, organization of students graduating high school early to go hiking. I get up earlier that day and cousin are early, packed luggage out the door. Cousin on the road quietly asked me: Wenwen, you now do not go with everyone? I say you? He said not to. I said, well, we diverted to other places. The results we stroll to the river far. The river in summer, when the water rose much, not when they light up very, River center not only had my knee. Up those days no water, so water is very shallow. Although the morning, still a little cool, but we are excited, and their shoes, and sitting in the big rocks on the river, Stick 'em in the water and gently stir. I saw cousin gripping with a gravel, stone, painted in the next, and looked lost in the water. He wore a white shirt, green grass below the big wearing trousers, waist belt system is also military. Those days, girls popular red shirt, boys popular uniform. I heard that his cousin dream was to be a soldier, middle school enrollment that year, he secretly went to medical, but was Yidie pulling back because Yidie and aunt did not want his only son joined the army, so cousin of the military will never be just a dream dream. I walked over and laid his hand on his shoulder, the next scene I remember one about, and I never want to leave my cousin, my life with me. Cousin said do not be silly, we immediately face the fate of the College Entrance Examination in life, and now our task is to study well. I said no matter what, you can not leave me.

day we play in the river for a long time, but not the same as ever, very few words. From that day on, I found myself becoming lady up, mature, and want to do, I think all sorts of things.
I know 16-year-old girl should be reserved for girls, in front of my cousin, how have reserved up years. I hung with both hands, when shoulders cousin will feel their hearts fly up all the things in the world have launched a smile for me. Exam, after the scores have made a down, the result of my cousin, like cousin not admitted to university, and I focus away from the worse one-third of high school. I checked my father went to the score, said composition is crappy, actually in the passing points or less. My writing usually is among the best in class, to participate in junior high school essay competition throughout the province, had to over the second prize, I think must be changed composition of the mother who is too dull old man, because I put in the river with my cousin side of that part of fond memories to write down. Know the scores of those days, I followed my parents anxious, then I Fandao happy: because cousin did not test, the oldest maternal aunt decided to allow him to one year in our school tuition.

holidays, father to the province to attend a seminar, and her mother went to the countryside, home to become a free world my cousin was. Before leaving Mom and Dad when we learn to take care of themselves, but also review books, not to academic abandoned. We all agreed to be dry as crisp, so they are out of doors, we were laughing and happy is the jump. Morning we took to the streets with shopping, cooking, eating, playing at noon, playing chess, watching light readings, the evening watching TV, playing cards. Life's free. When bored, cousin to tell the story of some strange to me, or make faces make me happy. Sometimes, he does not care makes me angry, I will hammer him with fists Shi Jin's back, even my hands feel pain, he still without blinking an eye, smiling.

That night, we have trouble enough, I was hanging cousin's shoulder, his back to me. My cousin on her own in the room, ah, ah turn, until the giddy, we happy smile, and forget. This time, the door opened, and my father opened the door came. He saw us like this, very ugly face. Said nothing. Cousin me down and we stood there, do not know how to do. I think my father would say something, but said nothing. The evening calm.

next day, her mother back. The evening meal, my parents called me and cousin stood before them, their faces like in that atmosphere of July when the sky. Dad said, you are an adult, when to play a little weight, do not let other people look unpromising. Mom said, Akai, school dormitory when you move to live. Such a person, how many should learn to stand up; Besides, we also want Wenwen quiet and, she also in high school. Cousin startled for a moment, that I listen to you is. I said, Mom, you can not let cousin to the dormitory to live, I've been to, there is so dirty, so smelly! Dad's face was more gloomy. He said, not your words!

things I remember from the beginning, my father has never used such an attitude on me, my tears flowed fast, do not know where to come to the courage, I seize the cousin's hand, loudly to the father and mother said, no matter how you like, anyway, can not let cousin go! Cousin also firmly grasp my hand and said to them, I can go to the students live in dormitories, but please do not misunderstand, Yidie aunt, I know Wenwen still small, I will not bully her. Mom angry about sitting on the couch, Dad's face was distorted out of shape. He threw a book into the hands of the ground, roaring told us to kneel down. We knelt down, and it is to uphold justice. Now, come to the scene of that time, as the execution ground on the wedding as a solemn, or reproduction of Chiung Yao's novels in a plot. In fact, our stories and Chiung Yao's novels, like exactly the same.

That night, me and cousin had suffered a heavy hit. Bloodstain on me everywhere, but I did not cry. The next few days, I did not and my parents say, they look at me and cousin are also very tight, do not give us the opportunity to be alone. One day I picked up on the sofa in a book I found that there was a note inside that read: Wenwen, I am sorry I let you beaten, and now hurt? I was moved to cry, cousin, he has been remember me! I immediately wrote a note back to room: No, cousin, I let you beaten, do you hurt? Then look for opportunities to put one of his book. Then I saw the cousin found the note goes on, and I am as excited expression. He raised his head and looked at the I, I saw his eyes were deeply sunken. I'm so distressed!

That night I lay in bed, alarm clock has reached 2:00, I was wide awake, I'm looking for cousin to talk to ah. I carefully out of bed, gently stroll to the cousin's door. Through the door, I saw the lights inside. Then the door opened silently, cousin inside whispered, come. I leaned on him, eyes closed, tears wet his chest. Really, I have always loved cousin, and I clear water in front of him, I think what I have to do what he can know. And he to me, are like an attractive classic, contains always the charm. My cousin in close proximity, but that night, we have experienced separation and meet, brought Dabeidaxi. The day after, I felt too much time in the unpredictable. I count the hours before a small alarm clock slow pace, and cousin on my experience, as in the Riyuerusuo.
that year, I was in the original school to high school, cousin tutorial. Cousin admitted to the school dormitory, the day we meet alone with the burden of increased learning has become less and less. Occasionally met in the corridor, our mutual gaze a moment, it gently away, it is our most sincere in spirit to the exchange. That gaze, the cover of such a language: you doing alright? You miss me? Remember, happy.

days to go in day after day, our love deepened in the day by day. I love my cousin, concentrated in a thick diary, and placed in the most secret place. One day, in the corridor, the cousin quietly upon their me a note, I read later, moved to cry, it was a poem:
I love you but I can not say

I'm afraid I said I'll die

because you are my cousin ah
I desecrated your
Even if I think too damn
I
not afraid of death but I'm afraid I
dead
no one will love you like me
April, after the mid-term exam, a few days. I cheated my father said to the students home to play, secretly and cousin ran away from the county seat four, five kilometers of the Green Lake play. Although called the Lake
Green Lake is only a pond. Green Lake's water is very green, surrounded by overgrown with willow and green, like a green bed. Lake with a small wooden boat, is the only one, five dollars a day rent. We Jiaoliao Qian, wait on the floor of the boat, staggered plan to lake boat, and then stopped, so that ship with wave ripples. It was a beautiful day! Water, trees, sun, everything is so fascinating. Sky, white clouds hung silently, like floating in the sky white boat, lake, water sparkling, many gray ducks paddled small pulp free, that we do not hide. Cousin said, you sit, I'll give you grab one up, talking off the top, a Mengzi bar down. Deposited in some ducks were flush, and cousin have not disappeared. While, cousin of the water run out, his hand grasped a no defense to avoid the ducks. He is engaged in the original attack. He swam to the boat side arm, the ducks gave me, to I had a naughty grimace. On the boat, rubbing his hair and clothes cousin on the water. The sun, his dark skin glistening shine, appear to be more healthier. Flying ducks are deposited in my hands. Cousin said, wait a moment, we bake it, make our lunch. I was silent for children, said, or to put it right, you see them freely in the water swimming and beautiful. Then throw it into the water, it suddenly ran far up.
you the story of beautiful ah, I inserted the sentence.
is it? Wen said that since the story, it has a beautiful face, must have the other side of the beautiful. Or what day it went on to say.
on board, our conversation came to duck body. I said, it is how happy ah, you can choose your favorite water swimming. But as long as it was to destroy it, it will be afraid of. Cousin say, ah, as we have.

day we say a lot of words. Cousin said he would marry me finish college. I said, no matter how times change, I do not become your heart. If you do not want me some day, I quietly jumped into the lake a man and his own buried here. Cousin took my hand, feeling that will never be the day, Wenwen, believe me. I leaned cousin chest, and we embraced.

blue sky testify testify clouds, willow evidence, clear water to give evidence, testify duck, twain testify, my 16-year-old love is pure, never change!
another black coming in July. Cousin still not admitted to universities. Get this information, the cousin had back in Sichuan. Then there is no telephone, let alone mobile phone, and my father a telegram to Sichuan. Had arranged things very properly, because Sichuan entry score high enough to test into fear cousin, the cousin took a few years ago my father's account to go to Yunnan, and can not think or do useful work! Immediately return to the side of cable, called for the immediate transfer back to cousin's account, because Yidie in a bank, he would take early retirement, so his cousin could take over his job. This means that the cousin had not come to Yunnan! I love him, is not so off the line out? Sad in July, I sat on the roof of my house, in the diary to record my thoughts in writing. The sky so blue, ah, July, and blue like the deep sea; really strong July sun, ah, strong like a fire; and my heart, are like autumn rain in the rainy season, Who can know with my heart in the next rain? I think cousin, in the remote Sichuan, as he would like me? He is not like me too and my heart in raining? No, I have to give him a letter! Think of writing, I realized that, so long, I have not received a letter from cousin ah, why, why he did not write to me then? I hastily written letter, sent out, then that is a long wait. So ah, wait, seeing the time to go to school, and I still had not received a reply cousin. I really want to personally go to Sichuan to ask cousin, this how it was. However, the reality does not allow me, first of all, I have no money, can not, then I want to study, have been opened up, and I did not been to Sichuan, those addresses for me totally unknown. How do? How do?

in my anxious, my cousin and friend, our class of aircraft, that is your good friend forwarded me a letter.

Wenwen:
you write so many letters, why do not you give me an answer then? I think it lost the letter, a last resort, I turned the letter requested flight. He is our man, I believe him.
I miss you. Every night, I think you can not sleep; every day, I was trapped and unable to sleep. Every day I Hunhunee, Tea Food do not want to. Day without you, how do I had!
family know that I told you what happened, I said to them, I say I marry you. But they are the same as Yidie aunt, do not agree. They only said that such a reason: close relatives can not marry. They said I was their only son, do not want my future generations is a fool. I said I do not want kids. How to persuade any of them, I just ignore. Now, I have to work in banks, is pressing hard for my father, I wanted soldiers, but they still are not allowed.

I am very busy, too busy for some time I had, I will see you.

kiss you. Akai.

cousin had been written to me, but why I have not received it? Perhaps Mom and Dad for me to hide it! I ask them, they do not recognize, do not get what the letter said. However, I do not believe, they are definitely hiding my letter. However, how can I be? Only after a little careful.

school, I ascend a sophomore. That night, Dad took out pile of letters placed in front of me said to me: This is your letter, written by Akai, I and your mother have seen, are all bad words sewage July 8. Now, I am in front of your face, it burned. I want to tell you those things are impossible! First, you are still young, do not understand anything; second, your task is to study the third, Akai is your cousin, that is, he and you have a deep kinship, after all, you can only be brother and sister, and could not be otherwise in a country. These points you must understand, if you insist, then I can only keep you white.

as I turned, got into his room, the latch on the tears as the river burst, surging down. I do not understand, I do not understand why things like this! No reason, I just like cousin, are like a man What is wrong with it?

cousin in Sichuan to do his bank staff, I read my book in Yunnan. But I think he, like every day, night wish, each time to think, to get all the spirit of vague. I know my parents would still cut my letter, so all by aircraft in transit. Every week I will receive two letters of his, and I, still a week to two letters he had written. Sometimes, we believe that only a few previous poem, I wrote \links \head, You live at the end of the Yangtze River. Day Chun Si Do not you see, and drink from the Yangtze River Water ... ... \
time is really an ever flowing river, ah, an instant flow of my Middle School. That in May at noon, I was a classroom lessons, suddenly my mind was swimming, a dream-like feeling poured into the body. Cousin standing outside their classroom door, smiling down at me. If Ge Shi Huang that moment, everything was fixed grid. I do not know whether there are teachers, the book still holding hands, I went out. Some students in whispers, I did not care. Behind with the cousin, I am like a puppet, slumped over, slumped over.
behind a school is a neat row of graves of martyrs. Around the tomb of martyrs, pines and cypresses, flowers. In the lush woods, and we embraced. My tears fall silently down from the cheeks, wet cousin's shoulder.

did not speak, what can say? What else to say it? A thousand words, are collected in a deep embrace in. At that moment, I feel I am the happiest person in the world. What is happiness? Happiness is the reunion after a long post, that you love people who love you the same.

then, cousin held my face, carefully scrutinize the long time and said: You lost weight, but you grow up.
I deeply looked into his eyes, did not speak. I would like to see him on this life, until we all get old.
I did not tell you what I want to come, is to give you a surprise. Cousin said.
I know, I said, I know you want to come, if you do not come, I will die.
cousin of my own even tighter.
cousin, hold me, do not let go, I know, a release, you will go, you will disappear before my eyes, now I'm dreaming! I murmured.
Wen, look at me, my cousin once again won the face: This is not a dream, it is true, I am in front of you, look at me, look at me ... ...
I block lived his mouth with my lips, with my tears.

time the sun is warm in the bar, the wind that it is the most genial, soft grass that is right, and I, that is the happiest it. Patch of shade, which Asakusa, who twitter birds sing in the trees, is the witness of my happiness, ah, you see that? I put my 18-year-old youth, 18-year-old love, 18-year-old body, gave me this in front of the man named Kai, I willingly, no regrets! Mountains edge, of Heaven, my heart will not change!

next day, cousin away, quietly, quietly away. I understand him, he is a person, a community of people, in this world, there are many things earthly fetters him; at such a time, he still my heart, I will do what is demanding ?